💗 That Imperfect Night 💗

I wished to have some more of you
that night when we partly made love.

Yes, that night we partly made love,
because you were not in your senses
and mine were all set on.

Everything from that night is kind of a blur to you,
and for me, for me the only moment of life when I felt alive,

I felt alive when our fingers intertwined,
I felt alive when you hold my hand tight, 
I felt alive when we hugged and melt,

I felt alive when your lips locked mine,
for the very first time,
I felt alive with every touch of you over mine,
and I felt alive... After so many years,

when you almost made me yours,

on that imperfect night. 💗

On that imperfect night

for the very first time,

I felt your love,

your arm wrapped around my shoulder, 
felt like home, 

the way you caressed my hair to make me sleep,

and a gentle kiss on forehead, 

I felt alive. 💗

Yes, I will call it the imperfect night,

because I don't know what it meant to you, 

but it meant a lot to me, 
and you mean everything to me.

And now I am being haunted,

haunted every night by the memories,
haunted by thoughts,
thoughts that scare me,
that someday everything will shatter and again I'll might have to let you go,

but every time I let you go, a part within me dies,
and one day I might stop being a feeler, I'll be empty, terribly empty.

I want this to stop, once and for all,
I want to runway, but how can one just stay away from oneself?
uhhhgg... why can't this just be a nightmare,
our beautiful nightmare. 

but still,

I wish if I could have some more of you,
that night when we partly made love,
that night when I felt alive,

when you almost made me yours,

on that imperfect night. 💗